“Many of my mates or friends are married, others are engaged and will get married soon but I don’t even have someone I can call mine, let alone thinking about marriage. Although, there is someone I have feelings for, I’ve prayed but heard nothing, I feel like going ahead especially as we think alike, the only thing is that I’m confused. What if he/she is not he one, why is it so hard for me to have someone too!”

The above scenario describes what people tell me a lot of times and I trust God to make this article give you answers to all of these questions and confusion.

It is long but I advise you to please patiently read.

It is good to be married, oh yes it is, let us put aside the challenges of marriage at the moment. Marriage is sweet but can only be sweet with the right person, otherwise you will have to keep enduring it for the rest of your life.

There is a question I will like you to ask yourself this morning which is: “Why do you want to get married?” If you do not know why you want to be married, you may not bother checking who to choose. If God wants you to be married, He doesn’t want you to be married to just anybody, believe me, He has a plan for your life. This is why He will like to give you someone that will make the plan work.

The first step in marrying right is having Christ, then accepting and enjoying your waiting period. It is not a crime to wait or to be single, it is a phase everyone would pass through in life.

This time is when you should be working on making yourself a better person, preparing for the future and not just fantasizing about it. It’s when you should be exploring your weaknesses and flaws and building yourself into a better person. It is a time to enjoy your walk with God, a time to be alive in active service to Him and when God introduces you to your life partner, you will be mature enough for the responsibilities of Christian marriage, a time to mould your future in the place of prayer!

People who have found happiness within themselves are usually the most desirable members of the opposite sex and become like magnets because they are at peace and generate a sense of joy.

Next to that; never exchange your body for marriage relationship, as Paul wrote in 1Cor.6:18-20, “Flee immorality.” Your body belongs to God, whose Spirit dwells in you. Therefore, you are to glorify God in your body.

Sexual intimacy confuses, clouds real issues that should be the foundation of real marriage, it creates guilt, diseases and defiles you (this is applicable to Christians too). Make the Word of God your compass, keep the words in your heart to guide and guard you always.

Then, have a good character, this is very important! If you want to buy a car, I guess you’ll do some research to know the car, it is the same thing.

If a man does not show you respect, gentleness, self-sacrificing love, and other godly traits, why are you still head over heels in love with such? You think you can change such person, you cannot!

Men, remove her look and figure, what else can you find? “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” (Prov. 31:30), let your character speak for you, will yours speak well?

Don’t be too spiritual to think the man will come knocking your hidden door, where do you go? There is nothing wrong with putting yourself in situations where you may meet a godly mate but avoid concentrating on getting a mate and you miss the message of that season.

Marriage is not the final solution to any problem but God is always the solution.

You need to let God lead you, don’t be faster than God, do not proceed to marriage based on feelings because it will fade away if the foundation is not God. Do all things possible to allow God lead you. How can He speak to me, check my blog for an article “Right Partner”.

You won’t miss it maritally.
God bless you
Oluwatoyin Aremu