I will say that this came into my mind based on few interaction section I had with my female friends some days ago. They were exasperated when sharing and conversing their experiences in their relationship. I thought about this ” there is a need to know what is marriage before going into it.
Randomly, I’m going to explicit or explore on the following items as a guide to this work not basically in knowing what is marriage but the why viz
1. why should you married?
2. who should you married?
3. The needful in a relationship.
I’m sure you were expecting me to add ‘challenges’ and ‘solutions’ on those aforementioned items but I’ve got something better than that to share with you.
Let me start with 3rd on the list which is ‘The needful in a relationship’. I won’t strain on the word ‘needful’ because here it’s not the mandatory but the requisite .
1. The Needful in a Relationship: We all have one relationship we are or aspiring to go into, the basic things to understand is as much as marriage is spiritual, relationship also is spiritual because when you accept to date or have an intimacy with your partner you have also admit his or her family and that may includes; family palaver, warfare , spiritual activities and so on. Don’t say you don’t believe on all these things but there are very real as far as we are constantly living in this malevolent World.
Now, as a lady you have to be spiritually fit to stand in and pray even while you are in a relationship. In as much I will say ” if you are not spiritual strong and rooted in God’s word don’t rush into that marriage, I will also extend the advice to you ” don’t go into any relationship if you are not ready to fight ( pray deeply and fervently) for your intimate relationship. You may think” use and dumb ” is natural, or how shockingly is it that he loves you dearly and everything about you but still use and dump you, can’t you asked this question and get a right answer that there is a spiritual control. Every man or woman one is married to was meant to be whether good or bad , it can’t be too fiendish to purge out that it was not yours; you miss it because you took the relationship carnally instead of standing in the gab to pray. God is against carnality. In Romans 8:6, it says ” to be carnally minded is death but to be spiritual minded is life and peace. Do you want life and peace in your relationship?, if yes, PRAY.
Very few will agree with me that prayers is very essential in every intimacy, why? because they believe character and love is the central, and what about if there is good character and love but yet ‘ he is beyond the physical and emotional control and can’t’, rather he can if someone is in the gab to pray and uproot such control. The same is very applicable to the man. you must be strong and very rooted in God’s word. You love her and yet there are still minor and major hindrances against you both from being together, then PRAY, don’t wait until when you both are married, it’s better to uproot some forces while I’m a relationship and relax a little in marriage than compacting all the warfare to marriage. Believe me, If two partners are rooted in God’s word it will be very impeding for ‘breakup, divorce and marriage casualty’ to sneak in because they ( both partners) had build a strong foundation( on God).
Another striking thing I want to spur you up is, now a days 90-95% of relationship is based on ‘sex before marriage’, and that’s why there are lots of STDs( I wish I should mention list of these STDs bit because my ink isn’t flowing I will recommend you to this book ‘ NAKED TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE, LOVE and SEX by : Lakita Garth, if you want to have a profound knowledge of STDS .( Sexually transmitted diseases).
I will advise, it’s better to stick and stuck to one person ( knowing fully well that every ‘ he or she’ has his/her own way of life known as ‘indifferences’), than to jump on bed from one ‘ he or she’ to another thinking you need to flex sexually( enjoying every inside and out) before marriage, listen ” there is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. Proverbs 14:12, 16:25. ( ‘death’ here means ‘ STDS’ , life span cut, and unhealthy living , i.e from my own point of view, because you had unprotected sex). Although sex is an uncontrollable body function but you can control it by not ‘ testing’ on the first day, pray and maintai ‘self-control’ and enjoy it fully when you are married.
2. Why Should I Married?
Marriage is unique and sweet naturally, despite all the ever challenges you will face. Before you take a firm step you need to know why you should married.
Leave the exaggeration that comes when your age mates , group mates, and love ones married before you. It’s their time but while waiting for your time, know this:
In Genesis .2:19, God saw that Adam needs a woman of his own( marriage’), there is no need going deeply to this, he created a woman who was Adam’s wife, he( God) defined marriage, that’s why every marriage’is God’s constitute. .
“I have been so Ernest to live outside home and be free from what has been befallen me as girl child in my family and this perspiration alert me run into an unnecessary marriage. The marriage’didn’t work because I couldn’t stand the severe punching and beating each time we had misunderstanding. I became a single mother at age 29 with 3 kids( one girl and two boys). Even though I’ve been a single mother since my first divorce, I used this to tell my daughters not to make the mistake I made”. Mrs. Roselle said on ‘ The me you can’t see ‘ ( a motivational video clip).
I listen to those sentences over and again.
This is some of the reasons why must girls and ladies said ” yes I will”, when they don’t even know why they should. Many homes break when they later experience what driven them from their first home( family). If they can’t endure they’ll run again. You may ask while reading this “How about being a single mother like Mrs. Roselle or a single father if the marriage isn’t functioning?”, but you shouldn’t because you can make a peaceful marriage if you think over this question before you say “yes I will”.
There are so many reasons why you should get married but permit me to list a few down here.
1. Because it’s God’s purpose.
2. because you are on a purpose ( to make a longlasting and peaceful home that affect the society).
3. because you were given a purpose ( to multiply the Earth). .
4 . because you were destined to reform someone’s life ( you got lots of work to do in this aspect).
5. because you were created to solve a problem ( this needs your creativity).
from the above, I didn’t mention to flex life, be free from home palaver, etc.
The 5s up there and essential purpose of getting married, flexing life is one of the processes of keeping that home.
you may have your own reasons why you intend to get married or prepare for marriage, but don’t let your reasons be a reason you will end shortly and call for a divorce ( that’s not your portion in Jesus name, but choose right reasons).
3 . Who Should I Married?
Ah! the very first thing you should consider is who , I mean who you should married?
Marrying anyone isn’t the best option but marrying someone based on good choice is the best.
Every human has their strengths and weaknesses. The same is with yours.
There are wrong choices we made about who we should marry, such as , ” I don’t want to marry a pastor, I don’t want to marry a banker, I don’t want to marry a farmer, I don’t want to marry a tall man, I don’t want to marry a short man, I don’t want to marry this kind of complexion and so on. What if after marriage, he or she is called into those your dislike calling and profession, what will you do?, what if at a process he or she becomes fairer or darker than before ( it’s possible) what will you do?.
Before I forgot, take this ‘ you are not marrying the profession but the professor( have you gotten that?). I mean you are not marrying the person’s profession but the person; the person you felt in love with on first sight, the person you can’t live without, the person that was and is your lover. To ladies, learn to appreciate tue natural features of who approaches you and ask you out if he is decent and of good behavior, conduct, decent job, than to go over too ambitious qualities and to the guys learn to appreciate her the way she is than to go over unnecessary body structure. She may not have the big boobs and boom, but she is peaceful , respectful and humble is what you should look out to, remember it is about your peaceful and loving home lasting long.
I will briefly drop some of the important thing you need to considered when choosing whom to marry, there are good 3s in number and highlighted below.
I. compatibility: Compatibility here is not about blood group, rather it about who your spouse is. If you are in a relationship with a footballer and you really love him, there is a necessity that you should be compacted with his hobbies and other styles.
You can’t loose a good man because he drinks( not prone to drunkenness) alcohol, or a good man that likes football. If he is good compact with him. There are meb who appreciate so much their wives or wives to be enjoy watching football with them. The same to guys, every woman has her own choices, and way of doing things. If she is very decent and good to you irrespective if she likes casual or cooperate dressing, you need to compact with her choices. Does she loves writing all the time?, does she loves fiddling?, does she loves traveling?, does she loves games and fun?, then compact with her.
2. Personality: Everyone has his or her personal lifestyle. It’s very pertinent to marry someone with your choice of personality; this has nothing to do with profession but who the person is . Because she is beautiful, elegant, stunning, and have all figures and she talks a lot which you don’t like, don’t pretend to absorb her simply because you believe he or she will change. nah.
Personal is natural please take it very serious. If the types of behavior is what will cause problem breaking down a sweet and curling home at first time, kindly try to change the person and if he or she is not responding to your own kind of lifestyles please adjust to avoid a fiendish home experience.
3. Belief: This one is very important of choosing who to marry.
Some homes that break today is not because they have strong foundation or they love each other deeply, but because the belief system is very contradicting. The question you should ask yourself is can I endure a woman who loves singing a particular song or pray this way because it her belief and I don’t like it, or is it possible for me to endure a man that says I should not play music or pray simple because it’s not his belief?. If yes, the choice is yours. Christian is one but churches vary with different doctrines.
When he ask you out, ask him the name of his church and get to know more about the doctrine of the church, cause that’ll help you a lot.
I strongly believe that God will cause you reading this concise arts to marry a right person and at the right time. Amen.
My advice: Don’t only learn, relearn but be practical. That will save your relationship.